~ While running on a trail in the Pacific Coast mountains, I dropped into a kind of reverie, a dreamlike state of awareness.  I saw myself lying in a hospital bed after a serious accident.

~ Mom was standing over me saying, "You can't go now.  I lost one son and I'm not ready to lose another."

~ And while I was trying to return to body to tell her I wasn't ready to leave yet, Barry came to me.

~ I couldn't really see him, so much as I felt his presence and sensed a soft but strong light emanation and "recognized" Barry's consciousness.

~ I felt completely embraced and enfolded in a gentle awareness of limitless love, peace, and compassion.  I had the sense that Barry was taking me on a kind of tour of the other side.  I was aware, however, that the life lived on the other side of this life is so much more free, expanded and beyond what is possible while inhabiting a body that I couldn't even fit what was being shown to me in my mind in a way that I could talk about or bring back here with me.

~ The way he came and visited me and how clear it was that who he is in this moment is so much bigger than anything he was before.  Everything that he every wanted in a body, he has fifty times over.  He is complete and he is whole and there is so much love coming through from him.  The other way I think of him is how he died the picture in my mind, a peaceful pose... at repose.

  So what Barry was really giving me was a sense of how free and at peace he now is.  And it has been enough to carry me through the darkest moments of missing him as well as the work required to take care of his affairs.