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olgap

I have been so overcome by grief regarding typo's death that I have not been able to respond here.

    I have been going through the incredible amount of Emails I have saved from him, and can't stop crying. I still am at a loss in how to manage it, I wish I knew the circumstances of his death. Typo did not connect with his family that much, they didn't understand his alternative lifestyle. I still wish I knew more about them though and could connect with them. Maybe it would help me to have some closure on it.

    Typo & I met in another chatroom, when he used the name Deimos in 1993 or 1994. In fact, he talked me into checking out tbichat, Without him I would've never connected to this place. We became close cyberfriends, and I was honored that he allowed me into part of his life, and allowed me to know personal things that he normally did not share with people on the net. We exchanged Email regularly, (I wondered why I hadn't gotten anything from him in the last month or so). We even exchanged some snail mail even though we both destest it. I cannot find them in the mess of papers I have in boxes, I wish I could remember his full name so I could find out more about his death.

    Typo was the one who helped me make changes in my life, to try to create a life I wanted. Typo is a lot of the reason I finally resigned my professional position & dared to move to the mountains, which I pined to return to when on the plains. He helped me to believe in myself again. He was the first person who ever communicated to me that he thought I was intelligent or that he admired anything about me. Wow, I always thought, for someone who was a walking encyclopedia with humor and compasion, that was pretty incredible!

    When I faced homelessness after my episode of cellulitis in the hospital and was kicked out of my cabin & lost my job, it was typo who helped me pay for a new place to rent. Whenever I was going though a crisis, it was typo I first wrote to. He could help me to remember the tools I have, the skills I have learned in something we both have an interest in, NeuroLinguistic Programming. Typo was also the first person I wrote to when I wanted to share something I had joy in, or was proud of.

    I originally was going to write another post about grief, about what I have done in the past to help me through it, and an incredible organization I once belonged to that facilitates healing and growth after grief, but became so wrapped up in my grief about typo that I would rather make another post. about it.

    In my own way, typo, I loved you very much and miss you terribly. I will never be able to visit now, a fanstasy I always had. I wish I could write you now while I am trying to get through this.

Always having {{{{HUGS}}}} for you typo,
olga p


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